Risking Our Hearts
by TivaShipper
Summary: Kate Beckett was left by her former partner. A "new" partner enters the precinct, changing everything she thought she'd figured out. This was not the first time he'd done that.. Could this be a new start? Was everything about to change? AU


Chapter 1.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. MilMar is doing that part perfectly! **

She looked longingly after him as he left her. She already missed him and she could still feel the warmth from his hug. She felt lost. What was she going to do? The last gaze he gave her was sad and she felt all his pain flying right through her. Was this the end? She knew that a lot had happened between them, but this was not the way she wanted it to end. She didn't want it to end at all. She followed him outside the building and watched him drive away in a cap. One thing really bothered her. They hadn't been separated in years. About four years ago when Kate made detective, they just ended up together. Martin had been a detective for 2 years when she entered the precinct. At first he didn't like her way of doing her work and he wasn't afraid of showing it. After two months Kate showed why she was meant to be a detective and he started liking her.

Kate was young. She was the youngest making detective. She had her reasons and she fought for what she loved. Her mom had always told her to. As everybody else Kate had a dark side. She had been hurt, her world fell apart and so did her family. The thought made her sad, she still couldn't get used to the thought of not having her mother and now when she truly needed her! She remembered the burning photos, she remembered her dad crying and she remembered her funeral. The worst day of Kates life. The day she made her final goodbye to, the woman who was supposed to guide her through life, her mother. Her moms death was still a big part of her life . A day couldn't pass without Kate thinking of her, and the worst of all … Kate did not remember how it felt to be happy.

As she stood there watching the cap drive further away she felt like someone were stepping on her heart. As she stood there about to walk inside again she decided to throw her feelings away. She wouldn't look effected. She was strong and she wouldn't let it take her down. She couldn't let it affect her job. As she entered the 12th precinct Esposito gave her a gaze full of hope. He said something to her, but she couldn't hear him. She sat down at her desk and looked around. Martin's desk was all empty and clean, somehow she hoped it would stay like that. She wasn't ready for a new partner to come.

She was sitting at her desk, trying to concentrate. She had to move on. She had to go on with her life. Martin had been a big part of her life. He had saved her life several times – they had done stuff she never thought she'd be emotionally ready for. Oh god, how she missed him.  
"Kate, can I have a word with you?", Montgomery was asking her, as she was nearly drowned in her thoughts. She stood up and entered his office."Kate, are you all right?", he asked her with a calm tone in his voice  
Wh.. What.. Yes, I'm okay., she answered silently, but she wasn't. He knew that. She was sure he knew her good enough to know, that she was not all right. "So, what are you going to do know?" he asked her. Honestly, she had no idea. She had no idea how to go on with her job without Martin. "I.. I.. I have Esposito", she answered, unsure what to actually do after all this.  
"All right, Kate. Let me know if there's anything you think I can do", he said as he sat down. He was calm. He was really calm. It made Kate worried, but she had no doubt that he was questioning her answer about being fine

As Kate left Montgomery's office, she had a weird feeling. She really liked Esposito, she really did, but Martin had been her partner. To cops a partner is like their wingman. How was she supposed to let that go. Deep down she knew she had to let Espo become her new wingman, but it wasn't that easy again.  
Kate found her desk, sat down and started doing paperwork. She had trouble concentrating, but she wouldn't let it get in her way of doing her job. Esposito walked up to her, and until he stood right in front of her.  
"What?", she asked as she looked up at him. He was about to say something caring, but as she turned her head away. He changed his mind. "I.. I've got a call. A woman claims to know who killed our victim.", he said as he picked up a pen from her desk to look at something else than her.

_A 23-year old Danish woman had been killed last night. She was found murdered in a dumpster near central park. Her cause of dead was still not clear yet. _

"Okay. Let's call it night, and we'll bring her in as the first thing in the morning. You got her name and number, right?'', she said as she forced herself to smile. "Of course. I'm a detective, remember?'', he said as he smiled back at her, and finally felt right to put the pen down again.  
"Goodnight'', she said as she took her jacket. She turned around and walked to the elevator.

As she woke up next morning she felt different. Last night she had gone to bed with a feeling of not knowing what to do. Today she felt like she was starting over. She couldn't exactly put words on what had changed during the night and what will, but something definitely had and something will. She stood up, walked to her mirror. She stared at herself for several minutes. She wasn't sure why, but she did. She opened the box standing in front her. She pulled out her necklace with her mother's ring. She took a grab around the ring and closed her eyes. Seconds after she put on the necklace and pulled out her father's watch. She took it on, without it, she felt naked. She got ready for work, and ate some breakfast. She locked herself out of her apartment and walked to her car.

As she sat in her car she remembered her mother telling her how to live her life. Her mother had always told her to. To not take anything for granted. She knew this was going to be her first day without Martin at her side, but life goes on, right? As she parked her car and walked into the 12th precinct she got an odd feeling. Montgormery was standing at her desk waiting for her. "Good morning Beckett", he said as she took of her jacket. Something was going on, she had no clue what, but something was on fire. She took a quick look at the precinct and suddenly she noticed Martins desk had been moved. What was he up to? "Good morning", she all curious.  
"Come with me, Kate", he said as he lay his hand on her back. She knew she had no choice, so of course she'd come with him. He walked her into his office. Something was bothering him, she could tell. They were standing in front of each other, when he was about to say something.  
"So, Beckett. I've got news for you", he said politely. He was nervous. She'd never seen him nervous. A sight she wasn't used to. "Anything useful?", she asked.  
"Well, that's up to you. The mayor called me last night, and asked if a friend of his could get permission to do some research for his new book. You've got a new man on your team.", as he was done speaking he took a deep breath. He seemed relieved.  
"What? Who? Why on my team?", was the first things she could ask. The first questions which popped into her mind. He wasn't going to give her an accurate answer, she could tell.  
"Now, back to work.", he said. He knew her to well. He knew she'd never stop questioning his choice.

Kate was speechless. She had no words. She wasn't mad. Actually she had no idea how to feel about this. As she stood at her desk trying not to go nuts, everybody started staring at the elevator. At least that was what she thought. What was all this about. Esposito had the biggest grin on his face. She turned around. There he was, walking up to her. She lost her breath for a second. Her heart skipped a beats or two. Was it really him? Was it true? Was it him? How could this even be possible?

**A/N: First chapter of this fanfic. I hope you liked it, cause there's a few more which would like to be published. I wanted to write a fic from season 1, so .. I did. I have no idea where this is going, but I think it'll be good. Anyways, I'd like some reviews. To know if I should continue this fic, or if I'm just wasting my time. This hiatus will be the death of me, btw. **


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